So, it’s been a while since I’ve written. I was actually trying to wait until something super eventful happened. And then when it did, I got busy, or actually just plain forgot about this little blog-o-mine.
But now that I have discovered it again, I believe it’s time to begin again!
So what has happened since I last wrote (…over 2 months ago?) Many many things. After graduation, I received my authorization to test (ATT) – which was my O.K. to take my Nursing Boards (the NCLEX-RN examination). In between those two dates two things happened – there was a celebration (a kind of graduation party) and I met a very wonderful young lady.
So the day of my test arrived June 18th. I had visited the site the night before so I would know where it was, and how long it would take to get there (actually found out that an old friend was one of the managers of the site). That morning dawned bright and early, after not sleeping well the night before (for some reason I had all these thoughts about failing the test and the last 5 years of my life being for nothing…etc. etc.)
After forcing myself to eat something, and sitting in the parking lot as long as I could I walked in, and signed in. 15 minutes later I was sitting in front of the computer (furthest to the right, next to a wall – specially requested so that I would have the least amount of distractions.) and the test began.
Some of the questions didn’t seem too bad, but as the test wore on I begin to feel like I knew less and less. I watched the numbers climb up 25…35…40…50…60…70….74. I swallowed as I answered question 75 almost begging for the machine to turn off (75 questions is the minimum number needed to determine competency) but still scared that if it turned off I would have failed (after all one of the “smartest” girls in my class had taken the full 265 to determine she was qualified, how was I any better?)
The screen didn’t go off, the world didn’t end, question 76 appeared. I glanced at the timer, I still hadn’t spent a full hour answering questions. The next questions were truly baffling, and I was now down to trying my best to eliminate even one answer.
Then Question 81 rolled around. Honestly I don’t remember the question. I just remember staring at it, because honestly – I couldn’t figure out if there was a wrong answer…their really didn’t feel like there was. After re-reading it a couple times, I decided to just pick the one I thought was right. I figured I had another hundred of these questions anyway, what’s the worst that could happen. So I clicked it.
The screen turned off.
I truly wanted to puke my guts out at that point. I was so sure I had failed. Without a doubt, I was sure I was done for. I sat there staring at the blank screen, wishing I could go back, wishing I had paid alittle more attention in school. But I hadn’t, I was done. I walked out, handed in my erasable pad (that I had written every lab value, and med calc and conversion I had memorized over the past month – none of which I needed) gathered my stuff and went to my car.
That was the longest ride home, I kept thinking about the questions, thinking. I know I failed, caused I missed this, and that. In all the test had only taken me a little over an hour (I was one of the fastest and shortest to finish).
I got home, and called my best friend to chat with him about the test (he had finished in 75 questions, over achieving pain in the butt). We had both heard the “secret” about trying to resign up for the test and not being allowed to, and that meaning you passed.
The test is automatic, and knows whether you’ve passed the minute it turns off (a verification is sent off, which is why it takes longer to find out). But I still had to try. So I went through the whole process (twice about to fall apart because I thought it let me through) and got to the stage where you asked to enter your creditcard info (the theory is, that if you can pay for it, then you failed, if not – you passed).
It wouldn’t let me pay – I tried three times, and each time the same “error” message appeared. It gave me, the tiniest glimmer of hope. I had already planned on going to see the girl I had met after taking the test – it was my strategy to prevent myself from thinking about the test, so I went. Now I would have to wait 2 days before I could PAY to find out my unofficial results.
Those were the worst two days of my life.
Sunday morning (Father’s Day) – two days later. I woke up at 7am and raced downstairs (I had taken the test at 8AM the Friday before) and checked to see my results. The screen read “Pending”. I sagged, I realized that I had no idea when this day (or even if I’d have to wait till Monday) I would see the results. So I went upstairs to get ready for church. At around 9 I saw a missed call from my friend.
I called him back. And he wanted to know if I had checked yet. I asked why. After a dramatic pause he said he had passed. I raced back downstairs. Went through the process, paid my 7 dollars and clicked show me the results. First the screen went white. Then it showed…
…”Passed”…
I went nuts. I bounced off the walls, screamed like crazy hugged everybody I could find. I told my Dad that that was the best Father's Day present I could give him. I Raced upstairs (again) hugged my Mom, both she and I began crying. I had made it…I was really, finally…
…a Nurse!!
